Tag Archives: perception

BE the Fish

One of my brilliant nephews led me to a few amazing sites that I thought you might like.

In the last hour that I’ve been exploring them, I’ve come across a treasure trove of inspiration, templates to do thing differently, and ways to see things from a new perspective and get that “aha!!” that we all look for. (I know, I just ended a sentence with a preposition — I’m exploring my wild side again! 🙂 Woo hoo! )

The first stop on our tour is at http://zenhabits.net/control/. Here you’ll see how letting go of the illusion of control and learning from fish how to live in and embrace the chaos that surrounds us. You’ll want to BE the fish. Honestly, it’s an amazing little piece. (It also made me think of Dorrie’s sage advice from “Finding Nemo” fame: “Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming.”)

I absolutely loved it and hope you do, too. It’s a quick read, with a light and bouncy, energizing flavour that leaves a slow, contemplative aftertaste.

Like the girl at the end of the recent Disneyworld TV advert, I’m jumping up and down just a little as I squeal, “I’m SO excited!!”

Happy Friday!

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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The Woman Across the Room

DVF

Confidence. Most people would love to have more.

The lucky ones are the ones who have it pouring out of their pockets. Right? It seems to be in the composition of their DNA. They shine. They have presence. We gravitate towards them. They don’t have to worry about confidence like the rest of us.

Or do they?

Are they as confident as we’ve convinced ourselves they are?

Or have they become masters of “fake it ‘til you make it” or other brands of similar mantras that motivate us when we need them most?

On Monday, I was in a workshop in which we were discussing confidence, particularly in the career sense – you know, interviews, networking, presenting your best self. Most people thought that others in the room were far more confident than they are, and wanted to be more like them.

Fast forward to Tuesday: I’m watching The Nate Berkus Show (I’m a devoted fan). One of Nate’s guests was Diane von Furstenberg, the famous designer and fashion icon. What an amazing woman!

In talking about herself, her vision and what she has aspired to achieve through her work, Diane said something that reinforced for me something that has become a recurring theme and reminder as I journey through my current life transformation. That is, there are two sides to the confidence equation: what you think about yourself and what others see. Here’s how Diane put it (best):

You always look at the woman across the room. And you think, “The woman across the room is so confident, and so put together, and so on.” But that woman is looking at you. And for her, you are the woman across the room. Everybody’s the same. It’s just a big waste of time to be insecure.

Way cool. Thank you, Diane.

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Less about self-help and more about SELF





I have an addiction to books.  I know, I could be addicted to a lot worse.  The manifestation of this addiction is problematic in two ways:

1)    I BUY all the books I read. (Library? What library?)  This affects my finances and my storage issues.

2)    I’m particularly addicted to self-help books.

I could open my own self-help bookstore…

My friend Kirby visited recently.  He’s always intrigued by new little collections of books that sprout up around my house.  The latest one was sitting unsuspectingly, minding its own business, on my kitchen breakfast bar/counter.

He spotted them.  As soon as I followed his gaze and looked at the expression on his face, I knew what was next.

KIRBY: [with sarcastic, yet loving, tone] “Oh, good!!  You’re discovering your strengths.  [picks up another one off the pile] And you’re learning about how to make messages stick.  You KNOW you could’ve written that one, darling.  I’m so glad you have all these books to HELP you.”

ME: “I know, I know.  I need to stay out of the self-help section.  I keep thinking there’s something else I need to learn that can help me.”

And there it was.  An “aha” moment that could grace the pages of O Magazine.

I’m the Advice Girl.  I’m a go-to person for advice.  It’s a shame I don’t follow my own.

I’m the Idea Girl.  I have GREAT ideas.  I’m just really bad at the follow-through where I actually make things happen, or finish something I’ve started.

And I’m the Excuse Girl.  I’ve got a million of ‘em.  Too tired.  Not pretty enough. Not enough time.  Not thin enough.  No one will read my books (the four I started eight or ten years ago and haven’t finished).  It’s just not an attainable goal.

What I realized is that I need to be The Nike Girl.  The “Just Do It” Girl.  I don’t need to learn any more about my strengths.  I know what they are.  And I know I have them.  And I know I have everything I need (see kaleidoscope explanation in previous blog post).  And now I know for sure (woo hoo – ANOTHER possible O Magazine page!) that I don’t need to HELP my self.  I just need to BE my self.  My complete self, whose very next task is to practice what I preach.

I’m not gonna lie to you.  It’s kinda scary.  If I practice what I preach, how far will it take me?


Photo: Self-Help – I Can’t Help Myself – Week 14 by wmpe2000

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