It has taken me a while, but now I get it.
Tears are streaming down my face but I’m not sad, or hurt, or upset. I’m so overwhelmed and uplifted that emotion has taken over, in a good way.
For some time now, I have been dealing with all manner of change, stress, grief, expectation (some mine, some that belongs to others), and fear. Not a great combination to propel me to happiness, joy, success and fulfillment.
The fear has been the most influential in my recent journey. I just couldn’t figure out what it was all about? What do I fear? Is it fear of failure? No. Fear of success, then? No. Fear of change? An emphatic NO, given that I am a strong proponent of change. I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t get it.
Then, this evening, I finally watched “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”.
It’s a phenomenal movie that I recommend highly. I’ve been meaning to watch it for some time. Many of my friends have been giving it rave reviews, and yet it took me until tonight to watch it. And it turned out to be less of a watching experience than one in which I watched and learned. It’s so true what they say: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
Tonight I realized what it is I fear. The resonance of the realization was so strong, I felt its force as I sat there and heard the following words:
“ All we know about the future is that it will be different.
But perhaps what we fear is that it will be the same.”
There it is.
I get it now.
And now that I know what it is I fear, I have greater clarity of what I must do to conquer the fear, to get on with making my life want I want it to be, and find the joy that is waiting to be found.