The Woman Across the Room

DVF

Confidence. Most people would love to have more.

The lucky ones are the ones who have it pouring out of their pockets. Right? It seems to be in the composition of their DNA. They shine. They have presence. We gravitate towards them. They don’t have to worry about confidence like the rest of us.

Or do they?

Are they as confident as we’ve convinced ourselves they are?

Or have they become masters of “fake it ‘til you make it” or other brands of similar mantras that motivate us when we need them most?

On Monday, I was in a workshop in which we were discussing confidence, particularly in the career sense – you know, interviews, networking, presenting your best self. Most people thought that others in the room were far more confident than they are, and wanted to be more like them.

Fast forward to Tuesday: I’m watching The Nate Berkus Show (I’m a devoted fan). One of Nate’s guests was Diane von Furstenberg, the famous designer and fashion icon. What an amazing woman!

In talking about herself, her vision and what she has aspired to achieve through her work, Diane said something that reinforced for me something that has become a recurring theme and reminder as I journey through my current life transformation. That is, there are two sides to the confidence equation: what you think about yourself and what others see. Here’s how Diane put it (best):

You always look at the woman across the room. And you think, “The woman across the room is so confident, and so put together, and so on.” But that woman is looking at you. And for her, you are the woman across the room. Everybody’s the same. It’s just a big waste of time to be insecure.

Way cool. Thank you, Diane.

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